The Ballad of Bud Light

In 2014, I was young and lean
And working for the County School
We were giving north middle a nice face lift
A bunch of kids using power tools
Well my friend said, “Man, have you met Bud Light?”
I said, “Buddy, I don’t drink on the job.”
He said, “No, I’m a-talkin’ ‘bout a real-live man,
That’s what they call him, but his real name is Shawn.”
I swear

We searched that campus from east to west
Looking for legends of custodial kind
After fifteen minutes, well, I gotta admit
I thought my buddy’d really lost his mind
But off in the distance, we saw a big man
On a John Deer and giving it hell
Right away I knew that that was him
We flagged him down and introduced ourselves

He said come on down to Bald Rock, and have a cold one on me
It might cost you gas to get there, but once you do, the entertainment is free
I heard you picked the guitar, bring that with you, too
We’ll howl at the moon all night long singing Skynyrd while the ladies swoon

That’s all I had to hear, we had nothing to fear
I knew that man was gonna treat us right
We swapped phone numbers and I got the directions
We headed down 192 that night
After seven kiss-your-butt-curves, we started to wonder
What kinda mess we had got into
But, I reminded them all that we were headed for greatness
And all the promises he made were true

He said come on down to Bald Rock, and have a cold one on me
It might cost you gas to get there, but once you do, the entertainment is free
I heard you picked the guitar, bring that with you, too
We’ll howl at the moon all night long singing Skynyrd while the ladies swoon
Yes sir!

Looking back, he delivered on most of those things
But I never did see no girls
But you know? I think that I’d be lying to myself if I said
That he wasn’t the most entertaining man in the world
I’m thankful that our paths crossed
I think about him most every day
It seems like not so long ago
I can still hear him say

He said come on down to Bald Rock, and have a cold one on me
It might cost you gas to get there, but once you do, the entertainment is free
I heard you picked the guitar, bring that with you, too
We’ll howl at the moon all night long singing Skynyrd while the ladies swoon
We’ll howl at the moon all night long singing Skynyrd while the ladies swoon

Written by Jordan Allen, Daddy Bellwether Publishing